AWOL Machines in Maryland

 The state of Maryland is considering legislation to ban AWOL machines.

This is the first I have ever heard of these machines, but apparently they vaporise the alcohol allowing it to be inhaled and absorbed into the blood stream through the lungs. According to the makers of the AWOL machine, this process produces a milder effect than that produced through typical alcohol consumption. However according to the Comptroller of Maryland:

“This is strictly a way to get yourself intoxicated very, very quickly, and it’s about 10 times more powerful than drinking.”

For $299 plus a $15 delivery fee to get an AWOL machine, it’d be cheaper and more effective to give yourself an everclear enema.

 The legislation is HB 670, and it died in the General Assembly during the last session. Interestingly enough, the AWOL machine is legal in Connecticut.

Helpful hints from Chicago’s Daily Herald

“What to know when cleaning out a liquor cabinet”

The Problem: A liquor cabinet full of dusty, half-empty bottles. The Solution: Know what’s past its prime and toss it out.

Hotel Bar Hours

Today, the Texas House considered legislation which would have allowed past 2 AM (closing time for all bars in Texas). The bill was HB 815. Here is the background and purpose of HB 815:

Current law provides that alcohol may be purchased and consumed in a public place that has an extended hours license between 7:00 a.m. and 2:15 a.m. any day except Sunday, at which time alcohol can only be purchased and consumed between the hours of Noon and 2:15 a.m. Club rooms in hotels in Texas are governed by the same law.  However, many hotels provide mini‑bars in their guest rooms.  Guests may simply relocate to their rooms for drinks after hours.  C.S.H.B.815 authorizes the commission [TABC] to issue all-night mixed beverage permits to allow hotels to sell alcohol during certain late night hours.

Unfortuntely, two caterwauling curmudgeons fought against the bill. Claiming the legislation would lead to drunk drivers leaving the hotel and driving home on Sunday morning. One actually brought up “hotels that charge by the hour.” Some quotes from the brilliant represenative from Sugar Land, Charlie Howard:

So I would like for y a’ll to seriously think about what this bill really does. It allows people to drink 24 hours a day and get on our highways and go out there on Sunday morning when most of us are going to church. These people can be coming out of the hotel bar, drunk as a coot, killing us and our kids.

More Charlie:

The other thing I think you have to think about, and we kid about it a lot, some of these hotels, they say hotel guests, we have hotels that rent a room by the hour. So that means you can go in, rent a room for an hour and get drunk.

The bill failed with a vote of 64 yeas to 73 nays